I was recently having a gchat conversation with Talia, a fellow new mother who has about four months more experience than I do. While venting about how much more difficult infant-raising was than I had expected, Talia gave the following advice:
1. You are allowed to want to throw the baby out the window.
2. Do NOT throw the baby out the window.
3. Your husband, in-laws, and parents all want to hold her too. Let them.
4. It's tough but try to get alone time once a day.
5. Don't worry about fitting into your clothes.
6. Talk to your friends for tips and advice; then you won't feel like you are the only one dealing with baby issues.
So there are six tips...feel free to add your more!
5 comments:
There is just no way to prepare yourself for the toll it takes on you. But rest assured, after the rough beginning, it gets so much easier. I agree with your friend's tips. It was hard for me to get alone time every day, so I did it by taking a long shower. That way I couldn't hear the baby and want to take her back from Shimmy.Eventually it became my only refuge. Sometimes I would insist that I needed to take a shower to get away for 20 min even though I had secretly already taken one earlier that day.
Yes, I have taken more showers since Hila has been born than ever before. :)
What I wish someone had told me as a new mum: You are not expected to bond with, or fall in love with your baby immediately. This happens over time, when they start doing stuff/ stop screaming/ start sleeping. You can speed up with the process by getting some sleep yourself. Lack of immediate bonding, like the way you feed, or where the baby sleeps has no long term effect on how much the baby loves you. Lack of sleep has no long term effect on your sanity (although short-term it does.)
agreed with everything. also it helps a lot when they start to smile back at you, you get the sense that they appreciate your hard work. and they think its funny.
All that stuff is awesome advice. Another piece of advice. Take advantage of other people's help as much as possible. Don't feel guilty about wanting to hand off the baby to someone else for awhile. You're not required to spend every waking moment with your child.
Also, here's the biggest piece of advice that helped me. Sometimes, babies cry. It's totally normal. You're not doing anything wrong, and sometimes they just cry for no reason, especially in the first 6-12 weeks.
I remember that the first I was home alone with my baby, and he cried, and I had no idea what to do. I started crying b/c I had to deal with it all on my own. Then, I kept repeating the words "Sometimes, babies cry. It's what they do." After a few minutes, I looked at my son and just said, I'm not scared of you, and it was all better. Sometimes, babies cry.
-OC
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