My name is Sarah, and I'm a pumpaholic.

I've become obsessed with pumping and milk production. I don't even care as much about the benefits of breast milk for babies as I do about stocking my fridge and freezer with milk. I have about 50 oz. of expressed milk stored away for a rainy day. Meira is exclusively breast fed (or bottle fed breast milk) during the day and gets 2-3 bottles of formula at night (helps her sleep longer and easier to prepare than heating up cold breast milk at 2am).

Talk about a pumping success story --

A few weeks ago I was pumping about a quarter of what Meira needed per feed. Occasionally I'd pump half a bottle's worth of milk and pat myself proudly on the back. Now, a few days after finishing my last fenugreek capsule and what feels like hundreds of pumping sessions later, I am easily pumping out a full bottle each time I sit down to pump. In the morning, I can pump out almost 2 full bottles in one go.

What's more, sometimes I actually look forward to pumping. I love feeling full of milk and then 10 minutes later feeling light and empty. I love sitting there and relaxing, drinking my water (if I remember to bring it to the couch beforehand) and reading or watching TV.

Here's the problem --

As smoothly as things are going, full-time pumping is not a long term option. At least not for me. While I don't mind the pumping at all, sometimes I feel like I need to pump at the expense of going out or at the expense of doing things around the house that need to get done (like taking care of my children).

Yes, you're right (because I'm sure you're thinking this) -- I could just nurse Meira when the pumping is inconvenient; but despite my full milk supply, I still cannot seem to get the knack of nursing. I still try and nurse once or twice a day for a bit, but it is never comfortable or enjoyable. I can't seem to ever get enough milk in her, even if I sit there for an hour with my boob in her mouth.

And here's another thing -- Meira is not the happiest of babies. In fact, we just put her on a formula-only diet for 24 hours to see if maybe there's something in my breast milk that she doesn't like that's making her cranky all the time.

But it is true, she cries after a bottle of breast milk and cries after a bottle of formula, and I always think she's hungry. So I'm sure when I nurse her she's getting plenty and I'm just being neurotic by thinking she's not getting enough.

I know practice makes perfect when it comes to nursing, and I still plan on diong a 2-day nurse-a-thon to try and get us both adjusted. Maybe I will love it, but then again, I doubt it.

Obviously (because you know I can't keep these things to myself) I will keep you posted.